i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
