they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Gay?
German.
Pity.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
