There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
