On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
