guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wish my penis had a tongue
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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