we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
