i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
