is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize