take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
People in love make me want to vomit
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
