Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
