I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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