What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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