I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
