"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
