Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
