There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
