Actions speak louder than pants.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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