Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
