Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
