yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
