There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
