We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They have beer where we have blood.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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