Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
