im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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