I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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