it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
