you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
