I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
