Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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