ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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