We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
