508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize