The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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