i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
