How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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