you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
