I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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