this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
