Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
