i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize