Umm I'm too high to move.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
