My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
