my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
