Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
