Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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