he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize