I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was like eating out sand paper
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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