The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
