Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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