I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
