could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
