omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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