my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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