just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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