Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just gift wrapped bread.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
