GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
