I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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