I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
