is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
