Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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