woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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