if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
