Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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