dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
id be glad to
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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