Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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