I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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