Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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