wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
