Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
whose parrot is this?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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