ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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